Time for a Change
by Just another girl13
Summary: I suck at summaries. Not a traditional Zutara. There will be attempted suicide... Read and rewiew! :) I also changed the rating because of the graphic suicide scene.
1. Chapter 1

An: Ok, so not only is this my first Zutara fanfic, it is also my first one in general! How weird is this? So you know, like don't kill me after my first story please! I'm sure you all know the drill….

"…"-speech

_Randomness_- thought/dream

I also suck at summaries so here it goes!

Chapter 1: Letting Go

It had been a week. One measly week of having to deal with each other. Since Zuko joined the gaang, he and Katara had been at each other's throats day and night. Cooking, cleaning, gathering, you name it and those two would find some way to argue about it. It was infuriating to everyone else because, they couldn't have five minutes without insults, or elements, being hurled.

As the Avatar it was Aang's job to be peace maker, something he didn't like to do. Not only was there the fact of possible physical injury towards him, he didn't like to pick sides. More often than not, he would send each of them to their respective rooms, and tell them to wait until dinner. This typically worked out, but every now and then, one of them would sneak into the others room and they would continue to fight. It just so happened, that one day there was no one at camp except for Katara and Zuko.

On that particular morning, Zuko slept in. A very uncommon thing for a firebender, since they rise with the sun. The only thing keeping him in bed, was a very pleasant dream involving a certain waterbender.

_The sun was about to set, and sink into the ocean. Zuko and Katara were sitting on the beach, with Zuko clutching Katara to his chest._

"_Zuko?" Katara asked, leaning farther into his embrace._

"_Yes, Katara?" he replied, stroking her hair._

"_Promise me, that you will never leave me."_

"_Katara, I promise, I will never, ever leave you."_

_She looked back at him, as if to judge his truthfulness. Once she could see there was no lie, she smiled happily at him._

"_I love you, Zuko." she said, as he moved his hand to cup her chin._

"_I love you, too." He replied leaning in._

"Wake up!" was the call heard throughout the temple.

Pulled away from his dream, at the worst time, Zuko begrudgingly got out of bed and crossed his room to where he had thrown his shirt the night before. Picking it up, he sighed. As crazy as it sounded he was in love with a waterbender.

_The _Avatar's _waterbender, _He reminded himself.

_I wouldn't care if she belonged to Agni himself! I will always love her, _Zuko thought.

_That may be so, but she will never love you. I mean seriously! Who would love an evil, banished, scarred, ex-prince? It also doesn't help that your nation hates her nation or that she entirely loathes your nation!_

He sighed. That stupid little voice inside his head was right. She would always hate him and there was nothing he could do to change that. Then he remembered what he had tried the first night of his exile. If his uncle hadn't been there to save him, he wouldn't be here now, beating himself up over a stupid waterbender.

_Maybe, it would have been better if he hadn't found me, _Zuko thought grimly.

That was the moment when he decided to end it. To end all the pain. He would never have to see Katara again. Never have to feel bad about the things he said to her, anymore. He didn't think it was worth it anymore.

_And this time, no one will stop me, _He told himself.

Picking up his bag, he searched inside for paper and ink. When he found what he was looking for, he wrote a letter to the people at camp. He didn't mince words when he told each one of them everything he had ever wanted to say. Once he was done, he signed it, folded it, and left it on top of his pillow. Then, he picked up his dagger and thought about his plan.

That night, Prince Zuko of the Fire Nation, was going to commit suicide.

An: I'm sorry it got all dark and creepy at the end, but it will get better. This was also a short chapter, I know, but like I said first fanfic. Ever. There with be some Z-K interaction in the next chap. Rewiew, tell me what you think! My first reviewer can help me come up with a title for the next chap!


	2. Chapter 2

AN: Aren't I a wonderful updater? I want to thank Magestikus for following my story and for my reviewers! Smiles go to you my friends! And I'm sorry. I lied. This is going to be a Katara centered chap. There will be interaction next time! No flames or water whips please!

Reviews:

Guest (the first one)- Thanks! I'm glad to know that you like it!

Guest (the second one)- I understand that. I wasn't sure of it at first, but the more I think about it, the more I love the idea. And it won't totally be like Katara saves Zuko then they kiss. Although that will happen there will be a lot more to it than that.

Disclaimer: Forgot to do this on my first chapter. I own absolutely N.O.T.H.I.N.G. If I did well, Mai wouldn't exist and Katara and Zuko would be totally in love!

Chapter 2- Katara's Thoughts

Katara woke up about an hour after dawn like always. Gathering a few things, she headed out of the temple and into the forest, to find that waterfall and spring. She got there just as the sun was shining through the trees, with early morning light.

"Wow," she whispered. She didn't move for a moment, but just stood there admiring the beauty in front of her. Lush grass made a carpet beneath her feet and all the flowers left the area with a fragrance like none other. The sun's light hit the water perfectly, to make it dance in an amber glow.

_Zuko's eyes are amber… _she thought.

_No they aren't, _she corrected herself, _they're gold._

Unbidden, images of Zuko came flooding into her mind. Him attacking the South Pole, tying her to a tree, attacking the _North_ Pole, and a few others. They all lead up to Ba Sing Se and his betrayal.

_I should have never trusted him. If I hadn't, I wouldn't be so upset, _she told herself. This is what she believed. It was all her fault, hers' and no one else's. While this wasn't entirely true, it wasn't a lie either. Katara only felt that Zuko betrayed her. This was the reason for her anger. She wasn't really angry with him, she was angry with herself. It just so happened that every time Katara was thinking about these things, Zuko would do something, and she would yell at him. Then he would yell at her, so on and so forth.

Shaking her head to snap out of her trance, she picked up her towel from where she had dropped it, and continued towards the spring. Then, took off her dress and stepped into the water. Katara always liked to practice bending, before a bath, and that is what she did. Calling the water to her, she made a water whip, and cut down a mango from a nearby tree. Then, she made ice shards, and flung them into the same tree.

Satisfied, she sunk all the way down in the water, and finally relaxed. She washed her body, getting rid of all the dirt and grime. Next, she grappled with her hair. Some might think that washing your hair is easy, but not for Katara. First, and foremost, her hair was long, thick, and wavy. Keeping it in a braid was hard enough, but taking it out? That was even harder.

Working carefully, as so not to pull or tangle her hair anymore, she slowly took it out of the braid. Once her hair was loose, she gave it a shake, and a light curtain of dust and dirt fell down from it. She was the only one that really cared about how her hair looked. Sokka never took his hair out of his "wolf tail" so there was really no need for it to be totally clean. A rise here and there kept it looking presentable. Toph didn't really care at all. She only rinsed her hair out when Katara made her or did it for her. Aang didn't _have_ hair so he couldn't do anything. Then she thought about Zuko. Katara had never seen his hair oily, dirty, or unkempt. Sure, it was down and a little scraggly, but it looked nice on him. Frankly, everything looked nice on him. Even when he had that **stupid** ponytail! He just managed to make everything work.

After wetting it down and washing it thoroughly she bent the excess water out, and put it back into its signature braid. Exiting the spring, Katara bent the water from her underclothes, and guided it back to the pool. She pulled on her dress and started to walk back to camp. On her way, she passed several fruit trees and decided to pick some.

Upon arriving back at the temple, Katara noticed Zuko and Aang were not firebending.

_Weird. Zuko is always here by no, _she thought. For a moment, she had the feeling of being watched, but she brushed it off and started to make breakfast.

"Wake up." she called, hoping everyone heard her. As she began to slice through the fruit with an ice knife, she thought about who "everyone" included. "Everyone" included, not only her brother, not only Toph, not only the twelve year old monk who was in love with her (even though she didn't feel the same). No, those people were not the part of "everyone" she was thinking about.

Katara was thinking about a boy. He was tall and muscular, with jet black hair, golden eyes, and alabaster skin. The boy that was supposed to be her enemy. The boy that she was supposed to hate. But, she didn't. She couldn't. No matter how hard she tried, (and believe me she tried _**very **_hard) to hate him, she just couldn't. The more she thought about it, the more she regretted all of the things that she said to him. She had to do something to make this right. And then it hit her.

Katara, master waterbender of the Southern Tribe, would apologize.


	3. Chapter 3

AN: I am a nice person so I will update now! Even though, people don't review! :,( Do you guys like it so far? I'm not afraid of criticism so throw it at me! –rocks with suggestions tied to them fly from comments section- Ow! I didn't mean like that!

Chapter 3: The Morning Meeting

After making his decision, Zuko strapped the dagger onto his belt and with one last look at his room he made his way to the center of the temple.

_At least I'll get to see my friends one last time, _he thought. He would never get to see Aang's optimism. He would never feel Toph punch him in the arm.

_She has one weird way of showing affection, _he thought smiling. He was going to miss a lot of people. His uncle, Mai (even if he didn't love her she was still his friend), Ty Lee, even his sister Azula. Hell, he would even miss Sokka. Sokka, of all people! The bitter-sweet memories, came and went as he thought of these people. But, the one person he would miss the most, would miss him the least.

Katara wouldn't miss him. That was one thing he was sure of.

_If only she didn't hate me. I wouldn't do this if she just thought of me as a friend. _As he thought this, he sighed, thinking it would never happen. Little did he know, that Katara thought of him as more than a friend. She knew it might not be love, but it was most certainly like. The problem was, she thought that he would never feel the same way.

As she fixed breakfast, she started to think of how she would apologize. She wanted to be direct and just say that she was sorry, and it was wrong for her to do that. The problem? Her pride was keeping her from doing that. She, like Zuko, was too prideful to do this. Not to mention that she was stubborn. Of course she knew this, but she would never admit it.

_Hmm…. What should I say? I don't want to sound sarcastic, but I also don't want to sound like I rehearsed this in my head._

_But you are rehearsing it, _said that little voice.

_Get lost! _she told it.

She hated that voice! Every time she thought about something, it just had to show up and put in its two cents! When she was little, she thought she would grow out of it, but alas she did not.

Thirty minutes had passed, and no one had come down.

_That's weird, Sokka would've been the first one here, _she thought. By this time, she was getting concerned. Even if Zuko had joined them, his sister was still out to get them.

_Maybe I should go check on them, _she told herself. With that, she started to walk down the corridor to her friends rooms. At the time, she was deep in thought, so she didn't notice the person walking the other direction. Just as her thoughts began to wander, she ran right into Zuko.

She braced herself for the impact when she would hit the floor, but it never came. Instead she was pressed up against something both hard and soft. It took her a moment to realize that thing, was Zuko.

"Are you alright?" he asked her, from his position on the floor.

"Yeah, I'm ok," she replied blushing, as she realized their position. She got off him, and he immediately missed the feeling of her lying against his chest. "Um, thanks for breaking my fall," she told him while looking away and rubbing her arm. Her voice was barely above a whisper, so he almost didn't hear her. He could still see the light blush on her cheeks.

_Ok no insults, no threats. Is she sick or something? _He thought, still puzzled by her reaction.

Reaching out to him she said, "Do you, uh, need a hand?"

"What?" he replied, losing his train of thought. He realized she was going to try and help him up, but he just shook his head and got up on his own. He went and stood in front of her, then rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. "So who else is up?" he asked.

"As far as I know, only me and you. I was actually going to come and wake everyone up," she answered, walking past him towards the other's rooms.

"Do you want some help?" he replied following her.

"No, I can take care of it," she said, and with a smile she turned the corner, and was gone.

_Ok, weirdest morning ever, _he thought looking at where she had just gone. It crossed his mind to go after her, but he dismissed the thought. _I will not mess this up. If the whole day goes like this, at least I will have had a good last day._ That's when he remembered his plans. He had forgotten about them when he ran into her. Shaking his head, he started to walk back towards his destination.

If asked Katara would have agreed with him.

_Why didn't I yell when I ran into him? I always yell at him! _She thought. She wasn't upset that they didn't start fighting, she was upset because she didn't know what he would think. _I'm __never__ going to live this down._

She was so wrapped up in her own thoughts (again) she didn't notice when she was right in front of Toph's door.

"Wake up Toph!" she said through the wooden door. Next, was Sokka's room.

"Sokka! Breakfast!" And then Aang's room.

"Wake up, sleepy head!"

Deciding there was no reason to tell Zuko to wake up, she turned around and went back to the open square, in the middle of the temple. However as she passed his room, the door swung open. If it had been anyone else's room, she would have shut the door and moved on. However as she went to do this, something caught her eye. On Zuko's pillow, was a folded up piece of paper. This peaked her curiosity enough to go in his room. Picking the piece of paper up off his pillow, she unfolded it and began to read.


	4. Chapter 4

AN: Update time! Ok after this chapter, I would like to get 5 reviews before updating again! My goal is 20 before this story ends. So start reviewing so you can see if Zuko and Katara ever get together!

**REVIEWS**

**Moves of a dreamer- **Thank you! I'm glad that you like it!

**WarriorServent- **Yeah, that's why I couldn't wait to write this chapter! Although it might not go entirerly as you think…

**Azulas Fan- **Thanks, but I was wondering about that. I wasn't entirely sure if people would like it or not, so I took a chance, and I'm glad that I did.

Chapter 4- Gone?

Last Time…

_Picking the piece of paper up off his pillow, she unfolded it and began to read._

Dear Everyone,

I've never really wrote a lot of letters before, but here goes nothing. I just wanted to tell you all a few things before I leave. The first is that you might not see me ever again. I'm not going back to the Fire Nation, or any other nations. The second is that I don't want anybody following me, or trying to stop me. I have already made up my mind. The third is that I will miss all of you (yes including Sokka and MoMo). The following is what I want to tell each of you personally…..

"Katara! Come here, I found something you should see," Zuko yells. After being interrupted from reading the rest of the letter, she sighed and refolded it.

Putting it in her pocket she thought, _I'll just finish reading it later. I wonder where he's going. He said he was joining us, but maybe my first instincts were right. Maybe he is going to betray us. _After thinking on this for a moment, she decided that he wasn't going to betray them, because if he wanted to, he would have done it by now. Then, she started to think about what he wrote, and what he might have said about everybody. And then as an afterthought, _I wonder what he said about me._ Realizing that she should go see what he found before he came to find her, she put the letter into her pocket, and left Zuko's room.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

After waiting for what seemed like an eternity, for someone to come down, no one came. It was even more strange, when Katara, didn't come screaming the he had kidnapped her friends. "I wonder where she is," Zuko thought aloud. That's when that annoying little voice decided to rear its' ugly head.

_Why do you care where she is? Isn't she the reason that you're going to kill yourself? You shouldn't care about the girl that caused you so much pain, _it said. Zuko knew that was true, so why did he care? He knew he loved her, and would do anything for her. He also knew that she would never do anything nice towards him. However with this thought, their previous meeting seemed more and more strange.

Zuko was so caught up with these thoughts, that he didn't hear or see Katara come and sit beside him, until she spoke.

"So, what did you find?" she asked, making him jump a little, in the process.

"What?" he replied confused, and very surprised. Katara had never sat this close to him before, she was always as far away from him as possible.

_I wonder if she… No that's not possible. She is probably sitting here just to see what I found, but still….._

When she repeated her question, and he did not respond, she became a little irritated. She was about ready to yell at him for ignoring her, when she remembered her promise.

_Yelling at him will do no good. You still have to apologize, _she reminded herself. Sighing, she retch over and tapped on his shoulder. "Hello? Earth to Zuko!" she said, waving her hand in front of his face. She got the same answer as before, and so she rolled her eyes and repeated her statement. "I _said_ what did you find?" she said, albeit a bit more harshly than she wanted to. Zuko seemed to notice her tone, and instantly, there was a scowl on his face.

"I thought you should see this," he replied handing her a note. Unfolding it, she read it outloud.

_Sparky and Sugar Queen,_

_With your guys' arguing going on, we needed a break. So for today, you two are going to be the only ones at the temple. If we come back and see any scorch marks, or a drop of water out of place, we will shut you both up in one room, without your elements, tie you together, and force you to talk and apologize. Snoozles found out about some sort of meat festival, so that's where he'll be. Me and Twikletoes are going to practice earthbending. And by practice, I mean I'm going to crush him under a lot of rock and see if he can get out of it._

_ Toph (and everybody else)_

_PS- Sparky in case you're wondering, I didn't write this. Snoozles did._

"How did she know I would ask that?" Zuko asked Katara surprised that Toph knew what he would say.

"I'm not sure. Probably because you are the newest member of the group, and well you are more likely to think that since you see her as truly blind," Katara replied, while refolding the letter, "So, would you like some breakfast?"

"Sure that sounds good," Zuko told her, thinking that somehow someway, this was all a dream. _There is no way that this is real life. I must still be dreaming._

After handing him his bowl, Katara sat back down beside him. They ate in comfortable silence, for a few minutes, before Zuko spoke up.

"I have a question," he told her, setting his bowl down.

"Um ok, go ahead and ask," she replied, while doing the same.

"Well, I was just wondering, why are you being so nice to me?"


	5. Chapter 5

AN: Yeah so I'm baaaack! Since I am a nice person(I and I hated not being able to update) he is Chapter 5! Thanks to my (3)reviewers! You guys are awesome! Cookies and Zuko plushies for everyone! – flings cookies tied to plushies into crowd – and there will finally be some arguing in this chapter!

**Reviews-**

**WarriorServent- **Yeah sorry about that! And yes eventually she will read the letter and ask Zuko about it. I'm not gonna tell you when though, because that would spoil the surprise! Thanks for sticking with me!

**Thebestmotherhugger- **Thanks for that! I'm glad you like it!

**sweetpotatopumpkin- **Yes! I have to keep you reading somehow!

Chapter 5- My Bad Side

Shocked by his question, she just sat there. Katara knew why, but she didn't want to admit it. If she did she would have to apologize then, and she wanted to do it a certain way. Katara was going to pick a fight with Zuko, injure him (not fatally, but painfully), and then incapacitate him. Then, she would heal the injury and apologize for not just that, but for everything. A little crazy, but she thought it would be the best way. She just needed to find the right time to pick a fight, and now was perfect. She just had to make it convincing….

"What do you mean, nice?" she asked, venom and sarcasm lacing every word. She tried her best to cover up her joy that she has found a perfect time to put her plan into motion.

Cleary taken aback by her response, Zuko started to get nervous. It had rained last night, and he was in no position to make her angry. The old Zuko might have, but the new Zuko knew better. He had seen Katara fight many times, and when her bending was fueled by rage, she was demonic! "Um, well it just, sorta seemed like you were being nice…" he said, going down to whisper as he continued to speak. _I knew this was too good to be true. I just took it the wrong way, _he thought. Of course this thought had crossed his mind already, but now it seemed that it was true. When she glared at him, he continued, his voice still at a whisper, "And well, you seemed like you were in a really good mood these past few days so I just thought you might have been trying to be nice."

"Well, the reason I **was **in such a good mood was because I don't have the fear of Aang being captured by a certain someone anymore. Although, that certain someone still hasn't gained back all of my trust," she bit back. She knew this was the wrong way to apologize, but how else was it going to happen? She was **not **going to grovel at his feet and beg for his forgiveness. Apologizing is one thing, but groveling and begging is different. She just had to make him mad enough to attack and when he did, the claws would come out.

"Well, I'm sorry I ruined your good mood," he said dejectedly. There was no anger, sarcasm, or hatred, just disappointment, sadness, and a lost hope. For a moment she was furious, then confused, but the emotion she finally chose was shock.

_He sounds so empty. Like-, like a little kid who figured out that their favorite pet died, but is still trying to be brave, _she thought. She couldn't do this anymore. She couldn't make him mad when he looked so vulnerable.She had to apologize now and figure out what was making him so upset.

Unknown to her, there was something else, lurking in the shadows of his eyes and heart. It was a broken heart. A heart, broken by a girl who would never know how he felt, yet had ripped out his heart and then crushed and sliced it open. Zuko knew it was his fault that she hated him, and he knew that would never change. Katara hated him. No matter how hard he tried to make it up to her, no matter how many times he apologized. Hell, it didn't matter that he had saved her from drowning yesterday! Coincidentally, he would die later by the same river he had saved Katara at. The irony was a bit funny. Dying by the same river that you saved you ex-enemy/secret crush at and that same person is the reason you are killing yourself. Crazy right? Yeah, that's what I thought you'd say. As crazy as it sounded, Zuko thought he deserved to die. After all the bad things he had done in his life, he thought that this way everyone would be happy.

Sokka would be happy that he was gone. Toph would be happy that he wouldn't be around to burn her feet. Aang would probably be indifferent about it. He might be a bit upset, but he would get over it quickly. Azula and his father would be ecstatic, especially his father. Ozai would probably have a holiday made on the day Zuko killed himself. Mai wouldn't care that he was dead. She never really cared when he was alive. Ty Lee might be upset because she is, well she is Ty Lee. Overly happy, always bubbly Ty Lee. He still thought his Uncle hated him so there was one more person that would be made happy by his death. Then there was Katara. Yes, I know we have already discussed this, but she was the only person on Zuko's mind. He knew what she would do. She would go be with his father on the day of his death to celebrate. Then, she would dance on his grave. Then, she would marry the Avatar and live happily ever after.

_Aang sure is a lucky guy to get a girl like Katara, _Zuko thought. The girl in question chose that moment to speak.

"Zuko look, I don't know what's going on in that brain of yours, but you look dead," she said, cursing herself mentally. _No! That was NOT how I wanted to say that!_

Something inside Zuko snapped. In that moment he had two options, cry or yell. He chose the latter. "I don't need your opinion! I don't care what you think and as far as you know I might already be!" he screamed at her.

Then, it was Katara's turn. "Well guess what, _Prince _Zuko!" she screamed back equally loud and putting extra emphasis on his title, "Maybe I do care alright!"

"No you don't! No one does," he retorted.

"If you would let people into your life instead of driving them all away, you might actually learn that people do care!" she replied. They were both screaming, but neither one cared.

"Well, waterbender girl, I'll have you know that everyone I've ever let into my life has let me down. So you're not getting in," he said with confidence.

"Oh, so we are back to nicknames? Have you forgotten yours? In case you have I'll remind you, hotheaded, stubborn, scarred, ex-prince of the Fire Nation!" she shrieked, but as soon as the words left her mouth, she knew they were the wrong words to say. She tried to take back her words saying, "Zuko, I didn't mean-"

"Shut up! You know you meant what you said, so don't take it back!" he yelled, eyes glassy with tears. _That's it, _he thought, _I don't care anymore. _"It's time for me to leave, once and for all_._"With that said he stood up and sprinted out of camp.

_The letter! _gasped Katara. _I need to read it, to find out where he's going. _Quickly finding and unfolding it, she picked up where she left off.


	6. Chapter 6

AN: UUUUUPPPPPPDDDDDAAAAATTTTTEEEEEEEEE TTTTTTTIIIIIIIIMMMMMEEEEEEEE! I have been waiting to write this chapter since the beginning! Has anyone else seen the trailer for The Vampire Academy? I have to go see that!

Disclaimer- I don't do these because honestly, does it look like I own ATLA? If I did own ATLA, Zutara would be canon not fanon.

**Reviews**

**8zBL- **I'm glad you think this is in character! And slapping Zuko and Katara would lead to water whipping! Then hugging Zuko would result in you being frozen for eternity. Remember it rained…..

**WarriorServent- **Yes the teasing letter….. don't you love me for that? ;)

Chapter 6: In Which Katara Reads Zuko's Letter

Skimming over the beginning, Katara found the last line she read.

…_The following is what I want to tell each of you personally since I won't be around for you to hold it over my head._

_Aang- After chasing you halfway around the world, I never thought it would end like this. I always thought I would deliver you to my father and regain my honor. How crazy is that? I always thought that the Fire Nation was right in thus war, but you showed me I was wrong, and so was the Fire Nation. Thank you for that. I will never forget what you taught me about peace, or friendship for that matter. I am leaving you an Air Nomad relic I found one my travels. As for your firebending- I have made around ten scrolls for you to learn off of. Don't forget to meditate and do your hot-squats._

_Toph- You were the one that vouched to get me into the group and I will be forever grateful to you for that. I'm really sorry I burned your feet when you first found me. I didn't mean to hurt you. I'm kinda glad to get away from your "affection" though. It hurts after a while. I'm leaving you my Earth Kingdom tea set as well as some of my Uncle's recipes. I know that you love his tea with a passion._

_Sokka- At first, I hated you. It's simple as that, but once I got to know you a little, you were an okay guy. You really helped me improve my dual do techniques. I'm giving you my blades. They will be of no use to me where I am going. I hope you treat them respectfully._

_Uncle- I will miss you most of all. You were the father I never had and I thank you for helping me find my way. I will see you eventually and I hope by then you can forgive me of everything I've done._

_Mai- I'm sorry that it ended the way it did, but we could've never been together. I just don't love you that way. I tried, I really did, but it just wasn't meant to be._

_Ty Lee- Even though you are siding with my sister, I still miss being your friend when we were kids. I hope that one day you will find the courage to leave Azula._

_This brings me to you sister. I know you've always hated me, but I want you to know that the feeling hasn't always been mutual. Don't get me wrong, you are evil, but you were once my little sister, and not a monster._

_Fire Lord Ozai- I hate you and I always will. That's really all there is to say. You are a monster and a horrible person. I hope you burn in hell._

_This is the end of what I have to say. I will see you one day, but it won't be until a long time later. I will miss all of you, minus my sister and father. I can't believe it has come to this, but what's done is done and none of you can change it._

_Goodbye Forever (well for a really long time)_

_Zuko_

Katara was in shock after reading the letter. She couldn't believe this! She didn't know whether to cry or to slap Zuko. As crazy as it sounded, she felt like tying him down so he can't go. _I can't let him go, _she told herself. Then, a thought came to her. A lot of people were mentioned in that letter, but not her. _There has to be more! That can't be all he wrote, can it?_ Frantically searching for her name, she dropped the letter, and it flipped over. There on the back of the page was her name.

_Katara, I don't know how you'll react to this, but here goes nothing. When I first met you, I thought you were worthless, just a little girl with nothing to her name and no special purpose. I thought even less of you when you tried to fight me the first time. Then, there was the North Pole. When we fought there, it was like nothing I had ever felt before. I felt so alive! Tying you to a tree wasn't my best plan, for a number of reasons. You thought I was a stalker, and I had to try __**not **__to kiss you. Yes, I said kiss you. I don't know exactly when I started to like you, but in Ba Sing Se, I fell in love with you. I'm still in love with you and I don't want you to ever forget that or me. No matter where you go, or what you do, promise me that you will remember me. I don't care if you remember me as an arrogant prince who chased you halfway around the world or the boy you almost healed in the crystal catacombs, or the guy you hate with every fiber of your being. Just remember me. I also feel that I can tell you where I'm going. I am going to the spirit world. I'm going to die. Not by war or at the hands of my father, but by my own choice. I'm going to commit suicide. Please never forget me Katara and always remember that I love you….._

There was more to the letter, but Katara didn't care. She had to find Zuko before it was too late. More importantly, she had to tell him that she loved him too, and nothing was going to stop her. She would go to the spirit world if necessary! She needed to stop Zuko from going through with this!

A moment later Zuko's scream echoed through the temple. _I hope I'm not too late! _she thought, racing to the origins of the scream. She would save Zuko no matter what it took.


	7. Chapter 7

AN: Thanks to my reviewers/favoriters/followers! Also to clear a couple things up, in this story Zuko wasn't banished he was just sent on the quest after the Agni Kai (at age 15) and his honor and pride kept him away from the Fire Nation. In most of it he is 17 and Katara is 16. And Zuko will be raped in this chapter. No not by Katara or Sokka or Toph or Aang… And he will die. Do not worry, he will live in later chapters though. And this has a few dark concepts.

Chapter 7- Zuko

At the same time Katara was reading the letter, Zuko was storming into the forest. He didn't know whether to be furious at Katara or curl into a ball and cry. He knew that this wouldn't solve much, but he felt like it would solve enough.

_I hope Katara will forgive me, _he thought sadly. With a sigh, he stopped walking and looked down at his wrist. Remembering the last time he tried to do this, his mouth settled into a grim line.

_Flashback_

_It was the fourth day of his quest for the Avatar. Everything had been going just fine until yesterday. Yesterday they had stopped on a small island in Fire Nation waters. While there he heard some of his father's soldiers talking. They were speaking of the Agni Kai he had fought. Nothing good was said at all about him. Zuko's name was being used as a curse word. At first he didn't understand, but then he realized his Uncle was right about his father._

_Iroh had said that even if Zuko did find the Avatar, his father wouldn't accept him. Zuko had screamed that he was lying and stormed out of the room. Now he knew it was true. The rest of his quest would be useless… unless he did find the Avatar. Then Zuko could present him to his father and show him that he was not as weak as the Fire Lord thought. _

_At least, this WAS his plan. After hearing what one of the soldiers said, he forgot all about the Avatar._

"_If I ever see that little punk I'll kill him and save the Fire Lord the trouble," he said. "I've always hated him. He's just a little no good boy not fit for the throne."_

"_Hashiki! That's treason and you know it!" said one of the others. He seemed to be a new recruit from the way he said that._

"_I don't care Kio! We all know the Fire Lord thinks the same thing," Hashiki retorted. Murmurs of agreement passed the mouths of the other two soldiers. "We all know that Fire Lord Ozai was just waiting for him to find out certain things. Then he was going to have the prince join the harem for the gay visitors and soldiers."_

_More murmurs of agreement passed between the three and Zuko stood dumbfounded. Then without thinking he said, "How can you say that? My father would have NEVER had me join the HAREM! And I already know 'certain things'!" He wasn't sure if he was shaking from rage, nervousness, or embarrassment. _

"_Oh really? Is that so _Prince _Zuko? Well I'm glad you know certain things," Hashiki said maliciously, leering at Zuko. "Would you care to show me how much you know?" Gulping Zuko kept backing up until he was pressed against the alley wall._

"_No, I don't think that would be-ummg!" Zuko said, standing there as Hashiki pressed his lips to the younger boy's. Eyes wide, Zuko was frozen with shock as the older man ran his tongue along his bottom lip. Gasping at this sudden action was not the best idea since Hashiki took this as an opportunity to slide his tongue into Zuko's mouth. Upon hearing Zuko's soft moan, Hashiki smiled. _

I knew he was gay, _he thought pleasantly. He was going to enjoy taking the prince's virginity. Finally done with kissing, Hashiki left the younger boy's mouth and grabbed onto his length. A loud moan filled the alleyway at that action. Pulling down Zuko's pants, Hashiki sucked on his neck gaining another moan from the young prince._

_When Hashiki's pants were also around his ankles, the rapist grabbed his own length and stroked it. Zuko looked down at it in horror. He knew that this would be the most painful thing he had ever experienced. Worse than his face being burned. Hashiki caught him staring and said seductively, "Do you like what you see, Prince Zuko? If you please me I will come with you." With this said, he shoved Zuko onto the ground so he was on his hands and knees. Spitting on his hand, he rubbed some onto his member and around the prince's virgin butt-hole. Then, with one thrust he was buried to hilt with Zuko surrounding him. There was no scream of pain, but Zuko thought he was going to die._

_Hashiki thrust into Zuko many times before finally cumming. "Thank you for the pleasure, your highness," he said, saying the last word like a curse._

_End Flashback_

Zuko shook his head to clear that memory. No one knew that happened to him besides his uncle and the only reason his uncle knew was because he saw the white stain on Zuko's pants and things were explained.

_My uncle… _Zuko thought. _My uncle is the only reason I'm alive. He was the one that saved me the last time I tried to kill myself. If it wasn't for him, I wouldn't be here. And I never would've met the Avatar and taught him firebending. And without him, I wouldn't have met Katara._

When Katara's name drifted across his mind, a frown graced his face. _I'm doing this for her, h_e reminded himself. A new determination settled into his mind and he continued walking. He finally found a small clearing with a stream running through it. _I'll do it by the stream, that way there won't be a mess, _he decided. Sitting by the small stream, he pulled out his dagger and made a deep cut across his wrist, and screamed.

He put his wrist into the water and watched as his life force flowed downstream. He faintly heard someone calling him and the last thing he saw before letting darkness overtake him was Katara leaning over him. The last thing he heard was, "I'm so sorry." And his last words were, "I love you, Katara."


	8. Chapter 8

AN: Yay! Update time! I'm sorry for the oddness of the last chapter but well I was on a sugar high so things were weird and eventually I saw unicorns…. Well anyway, here is the next chapter! There is a little bit of creepiness in this chapter and small graphic descripts of where Zuko cut himself. And thanks goes out to those who reviewed and favorite and are now following this story! I love you guys! By the way, Katara is able to bloodbend without a full moon in this fic. And Azula's Fan, I'm sorry if you were scared for life or anything like that!

Chapter Eight- You what?

Katara ran through the forest as fast as her legs would carry her. She couldn't let him die, she just couldn't! She didn't hate him and she doesn't want him to believe that, and she definitely didn't want him to die. Katara knew she would never forgive herself if Zuko's plan worked, _if _it worked. It wouldn't. It couldn't. She wouldn't let it.

She didn't pay any attention to the tree branches smacking her face as she ran; she knew where he was going to be without him telling her. "Zuko!" she called, her cry echoing for miles. "Zuko!" Finally after what seemed like forever, she saw him. He was sitting on the riverbank and a moment later slumped onto the ground. Realizing he had already done it, she rushed over and knelt down beside him. "I'm so sorry," was all Katara could say.

She watched as his face became even paler and heard the faint reply of, "I love you, Katara," pass through his lips. He had already lost a lot of blood to the stream, but some of it was pooled by he dropped the dagger by his wrist or seeping into his clothes. Bending the blood back into the wound, and making sure it was properly coursing through his veins (she finally found out bloodbending can do good things from a journal she found), she bent water from the stream and healed the cut. It took longer than expected, considering how deep it was. She noticed that there was a scar right below the most recent cut. She briefly wondered if he had ever tried this before, but it went away when he started to stir.

"Zuko? Zuko, can you hear me? Please answer me!" Katara pleaded. She knew Zuko had lost a lot of blood, but she also knew he was strong.

"Katara," he rasped, his eyes flickering open.

"Zuko! Zuko, you're alive!" she exclaimed, tears finally falling. Whether from joy, relief, or fear she did not know or care. He slowly rose up to a sitting position, and once he was fully upright, she hugged him, afraid to let go. "Zuko, I was so worried you wouldn't make it! I mean you had lost so much blood, and when I healed you I didn't know if it would work, but I tried anyway and- and the only thing that matters is that you're safe and alive and here," she said silently sobbing on his shoulder. Shoving away from him, she put on a stern face a poked a finger into his chest. "Zuko, I swear to Tui, La, AND Agni, if you ever do that to me again, I will make your life a living hell."

Zuko was too shocked by being alive Katara's presence to do anything except watch and listen as she spoke. Finally he put two and two together and realized that Katara healed him. "You-you healed me," Zuko stammered. "Why did you heal me? Y-you hate me!"

Katara sighed. There was no easy way to explain her feelings towards Zuko, but she figured it was now or never. She looked him in the eye and said, "Zuko, I used to hate you. I used to hate you with all that I had. We fought at the North Pole and I started to see you as an equal. Just another person hurt by this war. I saw it in your eyes. Then when we were in the caves, and I felt so much more than the respect I held for you. I couldn't call it love at the time, but when you betrayed me, I knew that's what it was. I was still hurting when you joined the group and so I was mean to you to cover up my pain. Over the first week, I realized I wasn't mad at you, I was mad at myself. The second week, I was arguing with myself whether I still liked you or not. This week I was trying to think of a way to apologize to you for how mean I've been and then today came along. Today I realized that you mean so much to me and when I saw you lying there, I- I just knew I couldn't- couldn't lose you." Once she was finished she put her head back on his shoulder and started to cry again.

"Does- does that m-mean you feel th-the same way I do?" Zuko asked her quietly. He had never been so scared for an answer in his entire life. _If she doesn't feel the same… _he thought.

Katara lifted her head from his shoulder and smiled at him. "Well, that depends on how you feel. If you like me, I'm sorry, but I don't feel the same." When Zuko heard this, his anger erupted.

_I just confessed my feelings for her and she doesn't even like me! What a waste, _he thought angrily. Sighing he got up and said, "Fine, forget I said anything!"

He started to storm off, but Katara grabbed his forearm and looked him in the eyes. "Zuko," she said calmly, "I said I wouldn't feel the same if you liked me."

"Yeah, I heard you just fine the first time," he mumbled, yanking his arm away and walking off.

Katara ran after him and grabbed his hand. Seeing his shocked expression she explained, "But I never said I didn't love you."

When she said that, Zuko stopped in his tracks. "You what?"

"I said I love you," Katara replied reaching up to touch his face.

"Good, because I feel the same," he said smiling down at her. Slowly, they leaned forward and as their lips were about to touch, a shout reverberated through the small clearing.

"_STAY AWAY FROM MY LITTLE SISTER, FIRE SCUM!"_

AN: ah yes, the gaang has returned. I have one question- should I continue the story? Review and tell me what you think.


	9. Chapter 9

AN: Yes, the Gaang has returned! Zuko is about to be hurt by Sokka! VIOLENCE TO COME! (or is it?) ;) I was looking through the stats for this story and I was so happy because since it was put out I have had 2,047 views, 548 visitors, 22 reviews, 13 followers, and 9 favorites! I am so happy! You are all so awesome there are no words!

Chapter 9- The Return

"Sokka, you're back!" Katara yelled, running over to her brother. "When did you get back?"

"Just now, actually," he answered dryly, eyes narrowing at the sight of Zuko. Katara knew this would end badly if she didn't do something. "Answer me one question Katara. WERE YOU ABOUT TO KISS ZUKO?!"

"Actually Sokka, I was," she whispered almost inaudibly. Katara knew it was better to tell the truth than lie to her brother about something like this.

"That's all I needed to know," he replied, his voice threaded with hatred. Without another word, he launched himself into a run into the forest with surprising speed.

Zuko looked petrified. Not only was he still tired and in emotional pain from his suicide attempt, he also almost kissed Katara! _Stupid Sokka, _he thought.

"Earth to Zuko!" Katara said waving her hand in front of his face. "We need to go back before Sokka destroys everything you own." She held out her hand for him to take, but he didn't. "Zuko, what's wrong?"

"Katara, please don't tell anyone about this," he pleaded sadly. "I don't want them to know I'm so weak." Zuko dropped his head in defeat and tried his best to not cry over this. He hated weakness and pain or joy or love or any emotion showed weakness. Anger was the only way he could be imposing and tough, so that's the emotion he went with most of the time. On the rare occasion he would show grief or sadness, his uncle was always there to help him through it. Now however, Zuko felt so alone and sad, words cannot describe it.

Katara said nothing but sit down beside him. Then she turned to face him, and lifted his head so he was eye to eye with her. "Zuko, you are not weak. You are one of the strongest people I know. Even when we were enemies, you were strong. You never gave up and that determination is what made you strong. You were strong when we fought at the Northern Water tribe, strong when we all fought your sister in that abandoned village, strong when you asked to join us, and strong in the letter you wrote. To write that letter took a lot of courage and strength. You said what you meant without reserve. Only a strong person would have done that without fear of rejection. You have _never _been weak Zuko."

When she had finished, Zuko finally let the tears fall. He didn't know how long it had been since he cried all he knew was that Katara was there, whispering words of comfort in his ear and holding him while he cried. Nothing had ever felt so right, so he sat there in Katara's embrace, and cried until something crossed his mind. He sat upright, wiped away his tears, and looked her in the face. "Katara, where is the letter?" he asked anxiously. He did _not _want anyone to read it now.

Katara laughed at that. _Ah, Zuko. Scared of what everyone else will think of him, _she thought. "Don't worry Zuko. Its right here," she said taking it from her sash and holding it up.

"Well, give it here. I'm going to burn it so that no one knows what I said," he replied reaching out for it.

"No!" she exclaimed, yanking it away from his reach. "I want to keep it."

"Why would you want to keep it?" he asked confused. _Why does she want to keep my letter? _he thought.

"Because I want to remember what you said to me," she said quietly. Before he could reply she said, "Did you mean it?"

"Mean what?"

"What you said in the letter. What you wrote to me. Did you mean it?" she asked moving closer to him.

"I meant every word," Zuko replied taking Katara's hands in his. They leaned closer and closer to one another. This time when their lips almost touched, Katara stopped it.

"We should get back," she said quietly, pulling away and standing up. She held out her hand for him to take, and this time he took it. She helped him up, but when they started back, their hands were still interlocked, and they didn't care.

AN: I am sorry for the suckish quality in this chapter. I just had to get it over with! I'm also sorry for the length of it. I'll make it up to you guys in the next chapter! (where Zuko and Katara will finally kiss! Third time's the charm, right?)


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